Of Mom and teacher

I struggle alot with trying to get everything done sometimes. Because I work part time as staff, I can't do grading as part of my "job." This means that grading is done on my own time.

I try my best to keep up with grading, but sometimes I just go into avoidance and read a book. This weekend, I found myself dealing with sick kids. I've had kids underfoot since Friday. They didn't get sick until Sunday, but I spent Friday and Saturday dealing with the kids and not my grading.

I fear how this will affect my teaching evals. After all, the kids deserve their work back so they can understand what needs to be done for future assignments. This semester, I never got my rythm. When your semester starts as you arrive in class the first night with a fever of 103 and pneumonia, somehow it just never gets better.

Now I'm just feeling overwhelmed.

I can't tell my students this because I don't accept excuses from them.

So, I have to juggle staying at home with a sick kid, a report that needs to be finished for work, grading that needs to be done, Christmas that needs tending, and a house that is suffering from the end of the semester "I'm too busy."

So, I'm working at trying to be a good mom, a good teacher, a good employee - but not feeling as I'm succeeding at any of it.

Yesterday at church, I was asked if I'd consider serving on the vestry. One problem with belonging to a smaller church is that it's harder to disappear into the woodwork. In an effort to ensure that I am getting the support my kids need, it has become apparent that I have opinions and am not afraid to voice them. So, I've been noticed. But, I've also noticed that some people who have served have also left after their term was up. I fear deciding that I don't want to be invovlved once I watch the inner workings. Thankfully, I had the valid excuse that right now I am unable to keep up with all my current demands and I can't take on anything else for fear of everything suffering. They understood, but said they would continue to check back periodically.

This spring I really want to get the house finished. I want it cleaned and organized. I want my body improved. I should be able to get some gym time in with my reduced schedule. I also hope to snow shoe some this winter.

I just want to lose the feeling of my life being out of control that seems to exist. I love everything that I'm doing, I just need to develop more focus and organization.

From Sydney:

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