Why do we shoot ourselves in the foot

Part of my job involves administering a major NSF grant. We currently have approximately 20 students who I closely work with. Some of our students are starting to approach graduation. With this, is the desire to test drive the anticipated PhD to see if they can find employment.

From this program, we expect our students will either go into academia or industry. We hope for academia.

Unfortunately, many of the faculty seem to believe that the only schools worth pursuing employment are major research institutions. The better the name, the better our success.

Unfortunately, some of the students we attract into this program want to teach, but not do high powered research. They want to affect education, not find solutions to engineering problems.

One of my friends is such a person. She is torn between going into consulting and going to a teaching focused university. She wants one with graduate work as a preference, but really wants to be in an environment that will allow her to focus (and obtain tenure) on engineering education (and it's reform).

Best yet, she has a firm offer in hand to a school that is OK, in an department that sounds like it will give her success. As she isn't focused on high powered research, she can work 9 mos for a very good salary. She is getting zero encouragement to pursue a teaching focused job. The group she talks to is more interested in helping her "see the light" and benefits of taking a job that is focused more on research and less teaching allowing her to work 60-80 hours per week for 12 mos per year.

I've not understood why we can't help our students find "their" dream!

It really pisses me off because she can't think objectively about this job when all she is hearing is how inadequate she will be in academia if she takes it. She is (legitimately) concerned about if she moves to this department if she will have limited mobility in her career - but she isn't getting to the ability to investigate this as she so busy trying to decide if there is something wrong with her for wanting to pursue this type of academic job and maybe she should go into industry instead. That would be a shame because she would be an amazing faculty member and a great role model for women engineers.

Thank goodness she will listen to me enough so I can remind her that she needs to think about HER wants, not someone else vision of her life.