Sharing my first story

I'm taking a informal writing course on a Fan Fic site on Magical Creatures. This was the first assignment. I think it turned out pretty well. I still have a few bugs in the story that I'm trying to fix - but I thought I'd share. It's only a page or so.
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September 1st was an exciting day at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The staff spent the day preparing the castle for the arrival of the students for the start of the term. While the staff prepared the castle, Tenebrus put the Thestral’s through their paces.

As with most of the animals that lived in the forbidden forest, Thestrals were unique creatures. They were winged horses with white shining eyes, dragonish faces and necks, and skeletal black bodies. The herd at Hogwarts was considered the first herd to be tamed and they had developed an internal clock that told them the days they were needed to pull the student carriages from the train station at Hogsmeade to the castle.

The day began for the Thestrals with their own feast. Early in the morning, Hagrid had dragged enough raw meat to satisfy the winged horses. After the Thestrals finished their meal, they all found a dark corner of the forest to rest.

By mid-afternoon, it was time for one last inspection. Everyone understood that few of the Hogwarts students could see them – after all it was only after witnessing a death that they became visible to humans – they still wanted to look their best. Tenebrus call for the Thestrals to line up for one last inspection. As the first Thestral born on the Hogwarts grounds, Tenebrus had taken the roll of lead Thestral for this herd.

“Osiris, head up a little. Akkad, your wings are a little dirty. Duat, nice stance.”

As the sun started to set over the lake, the Thestrals wandered from deep in the Forbidden Forest to nearer to the edge of awaiting Hagrid’s notification that it was time for them to assemble at the train station at Hogsmeade.

Rebeus Hagrid had been Hogwarts Gamekeeper and Keeper of the Keys and Grounds since he was expelled from Hogwarts during his third year. He has also recently been appointed the Care of Magical Creatures teacher.

Hagrid left his hut and wandered to the edge of the forest to call them. As he reached the forest, he gave an odd, shrieking cry that echoed through the forest like the call of some monstrous bird. Hearing Hagrid’s call, the Thestrals emerged from the forest.

“Tenebrus, it’s time,” Hagrid called to his favorite Thestral.

Hagrid watched the winged horses walk towards him. Normally, Thestrals prefer to fly, but they recognized the honor it was to pull the carriages for the student’s ride from the station at Hogsmeade to Hogwarts.

“I want to thank you” Hagrid began his customary start of term speech, “for helping us today. I realize that you prefer to fly, but as you know, the students might be a little concerned if the carriages suddenly started to fly. As always, a few students will be surprised to see you pulling the carriages today. Please don’t be frightened by their surprise. Please let me know if you notice any students who can now see you. This way I can explain to them that you have always been here, but they can now see you because they saw someone die over the break. I don’t want them to worry they are seeing things.”

“Now, where are my two year olds?” asked Hagrid looking for Jerry Garcia, the coach for the young animals. Hagrid had chosen the name Jerry Garcia after he heard the Grateful Dead song Althea shortly before the Thestral was born. Althea was Jerry Garcia’s mother and Hagrid had been pleased to honor her this way.

“Here they are,” said Jerry Garcia. “They are very excited to pull carriages for the first time. I’ve run them through the directions again today.”

A group of two year olds looked at Hagrid. “Are you nervous?” Hagrid asked gently - or as gently as a half giant could.

Looking at the ground a little scared, the group shook their heads yes.

“Don’t worry,” Hagrid said with confidence. “I know you will do a great job. Just follow the rest of the group.”

Tenebrus gathered the group of second years to line them up. As is tradition at the start of term, they pull the carriages for the second year students. The rest of the Thestrals lined up according to tradition with Tenebrus in the lead to pull the carriage reserved for the Head Boy and Girl.

After Hagrid hitched the Thestrals to the carriages, he led them toward the station at Hogsmeade. As Hagrid managed every year, the Thestrals lined up just as the train pulled into the station.

As the Thestrals watched the students disembark from the Hogwarts Express, they heard a familiar voice call “Firs’ years over here . . . firs’ years. . .”