Struggles with God

I post on a couple of bulletin boards related to parenting. These boards started with the board I found when I got pregnant with Sarah (now 6) *wow, we got prg today 7 years ago* It was throught this board that I met Kelly. My board adopted her board and I was matched with Kelly as her big sister - someone who had recently undergone the struggles of a new parent who could encourage through sleepless nights and parenting decisions. It turned out that we didn't live too far away from each other and we met up at a Halloween party. I still have the picture that was taken of us that day.

When I got pregnant with my 2nd child, I joined the board for kids due the same time Sydney was. The thing is that after years of posting together, you get to know each other fairly well. You care for each other much like this community does. It's like having lots of pen pals for years.

A couple of weeks ago, one member's neice died of cancer. She was 4 years old. The death of a child is always tragic. This girl was in remission briefly and when a routine follow up showed supsicious spots, the requests for prayers and postive thoughts came out of the woodwork. They appeared to be unanswered.

Sunday, while sitting in church, I found myself crying for this loss while listening to our Bishop speak. Palm Sunday services are a great time to address struggle as there were many struggles that day. But I struggled with why God can't answer all the prayers the way we *want*.

I posed this question to a friend of mine. She is a Pastor, she struggles with her relationship with God as she has been unable to concieve, and her one conception resulted in a miscarriage. It is through this miscarriage that our paths crossed. She has an adorable daughter she adopted and is waiting her next child.

As I knew she would, Tammy answered my questions very completely. I wanted to share her answers.